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February 22 2007 @ 03:42 pm
The New Seven Dwarves...  

For some reason my brother and sister though to do this...

Happy – Euphoric

Grumpy - Cantankerous

Doc – Physician

Bashful – Timorous

Sleepy - Lethargy

Sneezy - Sternutatory

Dopey – Befuddled

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tracyj23: Silent - Anderstracyj23 on February 23rd, 2007 07:33 pm (UTC)
Hee! I love them. I think I'd be befuddled. :)

I love anything that plays with words.
Jill aka Jo: Gate- Tackle Hugsireesanwar on February 23rd, 2007 07:57 pm (UTC)
Right now I'm...
Sleepy - Lethargy
Sneezy - Sternutatory

You're not befuddled. I tend to be a little dopey myself. Sometimes I feel really stupid... I can be hard on myself.

I'm also Bashful... except on LJ/net. I can talk to people because I have the opportunity to edit my words. Though i don't always so so.

I don't know why my sister and brother decided to make this list but they thought it would be funny. Glad you enjoyed it. I also wish you Happy – Euphoric!
tracyj23: A/R - We're not amusedtracyj23 on February 23rd, 2007 08:39 pm (UTC)
Thanks, I could use happy-euphoric. I was feeling better till the most recent post on my LJ. I'm feeling quite kicked down again now. :(
Jill aka Jo: Comics- Calvin and Hobbs HUGsireesanwar on February 23rd, 2007 09:23 pm (UTC)
Who's been kicking you???? Grrrrrr....

I did read that. Of course, I read it after I'd commented to your story that I read. I kind felt weird about posting to Runaway and then stumbling upon your Exiled post. Though I think it was meant to be.

I really hope you feel better. I knew exactly what you meant about your stories and I felt guilty. I mean I've written a bunch of stuff and I get very few responses. Whatever. I'm always happy when people comment.

I don't know if you read my comment to Exiled but I apologize for not paying much attention to the L/K stuff you write. I planned on looking through it after reading your S/K story cause I loved it. My problem is I have a huge list (under my memories it says 118 - eek plus I have 41 in my email *thud*) of stuff friends want me so read. I'm months and months behind because while I reply and type several posts (some posts I must type at home and then transfer to LJ later)...I don't get that much time to read at work. I only have net at work so I tend not to read much... I used too. But that was bad. I should have been working.

Now I try to print and take it home but I don't get much read that way but I plan on trying to get through more. I'm so behind I'm thinking of ignoring it all and starting over... only problem is they know their on my read list and I HATE disappointing. *shrugs*.

Anyways... be happy cause you deserve it and much love to ya!!!!!
tracyj23tracyj23 on February 23rd, 2007 10:42 pm (UTC)
I did read both of your comments today - thank you for the great review for the Kara/Sam piece. It was a fun one to write and honestly I'm leaning more in that direction now myself. :)

As for the Exiled post - go back and reread, and read Etilia76's comments. You'll get the drift of why I feel kicked in the gut. Don't comment though unless you feel you have to. Just because she's nasty to me doesn't mean people have to be nasty back.

And don't worry about the L/K stuff. I know it's not your cup of tea and I don't expect you to read and review. It's okay not to - everyone has their personal taste. :) I understand people have differing opinions - it's when people seem to act one way then change that bothers me.

And you always respond to my personal posts with sympathy and encouragement - don't feel I was mentioning you in any way in my Exiled post. I wasn't. :D I appreciate you greatly.
Jill aka Jo: Comics- Calvin and Hobbs HUGsireesanwar on February 23rd, 2007 11:51 pm (UTC)
Okay going into Etilia76's post... grrrr...
She doesn't get the point. There is not having time and then there is reading it and not posting anything. If you have time to read it then you have time to make a comment. No, of course, people don't always have the time to read stuff but that isn't what you were saying... You were saying it makes no sense and is rude to read it and not comment. I get that... I agree.

Anyone who writes wants constructive critisism. It is a must to develop ones writing...

Lower than spending time with the people they love, doing their jobs, doing their favourite hobby, eat, drink, sleep.
Um hello these people are on LJ and going around reading the story... so if they are they should comment!

I don't get comments to all my icons from everyone on my flist either. I don't expect it and I don't bitch about it.
Is this chick your friend? I think she's rude. I don't always get comments to things but I expect people to comment if they want an icon. I always try to post a simple "I like" when someone makes the effort to share... everyone waNts to know their effort is appreciated. Her comment about her art being for her is crap. My art is because I enjoy it but I enjoy sharing it with others. I love when people honestly like something and want it. That makes me happy... why because positive reinforcement is a part of life. She sounds like one of those people who thinks their great and doesn't need boost from others.

Why on earth would you think your a horrible person? I think your awesome! Seriously... you're one of the people I talk to the most. I do understand the loathing part. My father pretty much made it clear how unimportant I was and it hurt. The fact that I'm 27 and have never had a serious relationship also bothers me. It isn't that I've sabatoged relationships it's more like there isn't anyone interested. I've had lots of guy friends who are strictly friends and sometimes I feel like I'm not worthy of that kind of love.

I mentioned I don't like feeling stupid. When I'm talking to someone face to face... I tend to be very quiet if it isn't a subject I know a lot about because I hate feeling stupid. I tend to get really hard on myself after I'm out of the situation. Sometimes I feel so lost. When I was first learning PhotoShop I didn't understand anything and I had moments when I literally broke down and cried because so many people could do it but why was I so stupid that I didn't get it. I try to overcome this because I know it is self hatred left over from hurts in my life. Hell it doesn't help that the other day my mother actually told me she should abandoned me. I'm there because she needs me more than I need her but she used abandonment against me knowing how I feel about what my father did. It was cruel and so wrong. That is why my dream is to find someone who will never treat me that way. (Very in depth there<<<)
TBC....
tracyj23tracyj23 on February 28th, 2007 06:18 pm (UTC)
It's interesting that of the twenty-something people that responded to my post only 3 of them were nasty. Most people apologized for hurting me (and they were all the ones who DO read and review my stories and keep in touch via personal posts) and promised to be better and help be a better friend when I decide to come back. The two who responded in a nasty fashion (etilia76 and iamgirlfriday) were the ones I was actually lashing out at for not reading/responding. I_am_girlfriday and I have had a personal friendship outside of LJ for the last few months and as she has actually taken real creative writing classes and writes fiction (not just fanfiction) and she had promised to spend more time reading my stuff and helping me out with constructive criticism on how I can become a better writer. The reason I was so pissed at her was because this conversation was about a month ago and since then I've not heard a peep from her, even though I've reminded her once about it. She keeps saying 'I don't have time, I'm too busy' but yet has time to watch Veronica Mars, Bones, Gilmore Girls ... etc ... and write stuff about it in her LJ. She does several memes every day and responds to about half a dozen other people's LJ posts as well so she DOES have the time to read one of my pieces and respond - she just can't be bothered. THAT'S what was making me angry - she professed to be a friend and then is busy stabbing me in the back.

As for etilia76 - well she got angry with a comment I made at her LJ so I deleted it - so as not to offend her. Evidently she's holding a grudge against me for not apologizing (when she's the one who slammed me with her comment saying she doesn't need cynical nasty people telling her what to think).

As for being a horrible person - sometimes I think I am. And when I write stuff like I did on that post, I'm sure I am. I shouldn't be letting it all hang out and blaming other people when I'm upset. I think perhaps I suffer from the same problem as you - I feel inadequate due to things that happened to me growing up. My father threw me out of the house when I was 18 when I gave him the ultimatum that either his wife had to go (she hated me and would never speak to me) or I would go. He chose her and I think it still hurts to this day that he'd pick some whore (she was - she had a reputation for it before he started sleeping with her - and should I mention she's 45 years younger than he is?) instead of his own daughter. I forgave him - or so I thought and we've visited on occasion but he's stopped sending cards, never calls and hasn't even met 2 of his grandchildren, nor does he want to.

You and I both deserve better. I should know better than to beat myself up but sometimes when things just build up and I get to the point where the stress is too much I revert back to hating myself. I don't mostly - I have a good life and a great family but sometimes I need that 'personal' sense of worth that I can't get by just being loved by my family. If you know what I mean ... it's kind of hard to explain.

(I've a feeling this post is going to get too long so I'll stop and continue.)
Jill aka Jo: BSG- Glorious Leader Anderssireesanwar on February 23rd, 2007 11:52 pm (UTC)
Didn't know you could write too much in a comment... hehe...

If you think that friends always have to be kind and friendly with each other, than you have a weird expectation of friendship.
This chick has a weird concept of friendship. Like I said I'm 27 and I've known my best friend for 21 years. She is never nasty to me... ever! When I'm whinny she will cheer me up and yes sometimes I annoy her and she just says "stop". But she's not mean. She tells me she hates it when I'm upset so she says no more whinning... it's time to do something to cheer me up. I love her.

She has hurt my feelings a few times but it was nothing serious, always something she apologized for right away and nothing I would consider mean. There was the time I sprained my ankle and she basically said she still wanted to go here and there... as if I wasn't hurt. When we got home later and I was in horrible pain she realized I was really hurt and she felt awful. She must have apologized 20 times and she drove me everywhere the rest of the time she was with me (we don't live all that close, but we talk all the time). Friends do have skirmishs but real friends DON'T ever try to reduce the other to tears or tear them down. Friends are the ones in life you turn to when everything is against you and this woman doesn't seem to get that. (She said she was bi-polar, so is my sister... she sounds like her.)

I don't want to start anything more between you, her and whoever she's been talking about you with but if that was the case with me I'd defriend them and just focus on those who treat me right. You DESERVE good friends around you even if we're out here in LJ land.

Speaking of friends. When my cousin died. I posted because what I really wanted was to read comments where FRIENDS just put *hug*. They are my friends and I felt I needed to turn to them *crying-dang it*. No one should have to second guess that impulse. *BIG HUG*

Hey, just so you know... I don't have a friend who is a horrible person... so since you and I are friends....

I understand you believing that about yourself but when you think that way... remember there are those of use out here in LJland who think your awesome. *Much Love*
tracyj23tracyj23 on February 28th, 2007 06:25 pm (UTC)
There are so many great people I've met online, through LJ and other avenues ... I should try to remember to be grateful to them and forget about the nasty ones. One of my other 'friends' wrote an email to me instead of responding on LJ and holy cow was it flaming!!! I find it to be rather insulting, not just because of the contents but because this girl is only 19 (half my age!) and is writing as though she's the wiser one of us. She can't even begin to understand how tough life can be ... all she writes about in her journal is how much she can't stand her sister and her father and can't wait to move out ... school is SO hard, so many assignments and all that crap. I wrote back to her giving her the encapsulated version of my teenage life - my mother died when I was 14, my father remarried (the whore) when I was 16 and I was kicked out at 18 and couldn't go to university because I couldn't afford it and my father wouldn't pay. Even still she still defriended me and says she just can't understand why I said the things I did. *shakes head*

Sorry I haven't responded sooner - I do really appreciate your kind words and I consider you one of my closer friends on LJ as well. I talk to you pretty much every day, and I always enjoy it. :) I've stayed off LJ since Saturday morning (except to check my f-list and get rid of a few people) I've had this in my inbox waiting for me to respond for a few days now. :) I usually always get to it - sometimes life gets in the way though.

If you want to keep in contact outside of LJ you can reach me at :

tracyjzapp@zapptek.com

A few of my other close LJ friends have my email and we've been talking the last few days. It's making me feel tons better. :)

*big fat hugs* Thanks so much for believing in me and helping me to feel better. :)
Jill aka Jo: LFN- FacePalmsireesanwar on February 28th, 2007 09:19 pm (UTC)
Tracy, I had this big long email written out to you but I can't get it to go through. Something wrong with your email?
Jill aka Jo: Movies - Alice Wonderlandsireesanwar on February 28th, 2007 09:27 pm (UTC)
The error message says I'm spam. So I guess that means I need to be in your address book... MknzyCalhoun@yahoo.com - Jill. Once that is accomplished I think I'll try sending the email again.