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June 09 2015 @ 05:30 pm
You HAVE to read this..."I Went Paleo and Now I Hate Everything"  
Honestly, I don't by into this diet because even if I believed cavemen existed they had to catch their food so they had LOTS and LOTS of exercise. But let's not talk about that, let's just read this fitness article that was so funny and made me laugh so hard that I was crying. This woman is hilarious!!!

Paleo also requires you to give up processed food, refined sugars, and alcohol, which makes sense because those things are wonderful. But you're also supposed to avoid grains, starches, and natural sweeteners (like honey), and you are supposed to limit your fruit intake. It's sort of like the Inquisition, but less fun.

In some respects, it's worked: being Paleo has killed my will to live, so I'm too sad to snack. My abs look pretty damn good, but I suspect that's from all the nights I spend wracked with sobs because I can't eat anything fun. I would take a selfie to show you, but this isn't Facebook and I'm not your misguided teenage niece.


And then comeback here and tell me what you thought?

I love this quote: "Bake them in the oven for 30 minutes at 350°F, or just toss them directly into the trash because life is meaningless."
Current Mood: gigglygiggly
supernutjapansupernutjapan on June 10th, 2015 01:38 am (UTC)
I'd be rolling if I could, but as it is, my computer is bouncing on my tummy in mirth (I'm on my back due to back troubles:P).

Hilarious!!! I especially liked the ingredient "salt from your own tears" for the "cookies"

I never trust those recipes "glutton free" or three ingredient cookies or any such they have on pinterest. Without the proper ingredients, they are just not cookies!

Protein diets do work, but the boobs suffer and the guys do not like that so I would suggest doing it only for supper and eating proper meals for breakfast and lunch, and of course a proper snack in moderation :P
Jill aka Jo: SPN: Sam wootsireesanwar on June 10th, 2015 08:30 pm (UTC)
I loved that line too! LOL (So sorry about your back. I get that.)

Yes, I'd rather eat healthy and I've been known to cut a lot of gluten (not all) because it isn't gluten that is the problem but often the gluten we have here in the states.

My Uncle thought he was allergic to gluten but then went on vacation in Greece and he ate tons of gluten there without any trouble. Things here are too processed and over there are often handmade and have far less chemicals.
Phoenixburned_phoenix on June 10th, 2015 07:59 am (UTC)
Ohh my god, this is the best! :D I don't even know which part to pick :D

First time I saw 'paleo' mentioned somewhere, I just thought 'What kind of stupid is that again?!' :D And really, does a person have to go through that kind of thing? What's next, eating with your hands and no more showers?
I mean, yes, we probably do eat too much sugar and junk food, but going to extremes is just that, extreme. A healthy balance does wonders for your body and your soul. She's right, where's the fun in living if you deny youself EVERYthing?
Jill aka Jo: Movie: BH6 Baymax Hisireesanwar on June 10th, 2015 08:33 pm (UTC)
She's hilarious!

It is so true! You don't have to pig out constantly to enjoy foods. And in the paleo you don't eat fruit which I find unlikely. I would suspect if you were to LIVE like a caveman you'd eat meat, vegetation and wild fruits. Really I would call this the before electricity diet because that is how people hate 200+ years ago. Sure not all were healthy but even back then people gorged on the things that were not healthy.
Phoenixburned_phoenix on June 11th, 2015 07:33 am (UTC)
Yeah, the fruit part surprised me too. I mean, why wouldn't they eat fruit, it's not like they could be picky. Weird.
You can't call it 'before electricity diet' if you need a blender though *G*
Jill aka Josireesanwar on June 17th, 2015 09:57 pm (UTC)
LOL That is true. Okay I'm going to go with the disgusting diet because that is how she made it sound. LOL
Phoenixburned_phoenix on June 18th, 2015 07:25 am (UTC)
Hehe, yes, I think that's fitting :D
nightfogunightfog on June 10th, 2015 04:48 pm (UTC)
hahaaaa this sounds like the diet from hell XD

and the article is really funny!

def not something I'll try out!
Jill aka Jo: SPN: Purgatory Deansireesanwar on June 10th, 2015 08:33 pm (UTC)
I wouldn't either and yes, this article is just so funny!
Jo Annyeuxdebleu on June 10th, 2015 10:17 pm (UTC)
What an entertaining writer. Loved the article. I would never have any faith in a diet that almost excludes entire food groups...like whole grains and fruits. My doctor and her husband both lost A LOT of weight on the Paleo, but I couldn't do this diet. I have to avoid excessive protein because it's very hard on the kidneys.

The renal specialist told me to try the DASH diet. I think you'd like it. The emphasis is on fresh everything, it's tasty and the recipes are very simple to make. They have good cookbooks, too. I have these...ONE and TWO. They're both excellent.
Jill aka Jo: Movie: Captain America Not Freesireesanwar on June 10th, 2015 11:17 pm (UTC)
Me either. It is true it is very hard on the kidneys... I don't have any issues with protein but I like variety.

Interesting. You know I started reading about it before I finished replying and some of those recipes I've just done on my own... scrambled eggs with mushrooms. YUM! I've done that. I often toss in bell peppers and some tomato too. Oh my goodness that sounds so good.

I'm going to consider those books but part of me thinks I mostly eat this way already. There are some things I add that aren't part of that diet but they are in very small amounts.

Thanks for this though... seems more of a eating style than a diet but then we equate that word with trying to lose weight rather than just your everyday eating habits.
Angelserenitysangel on June 11th, 2015 12:05 am (UTC)
LOL Very funny and well written.

It will be a Paleo free diet for me!
Jill aka Josireesanwar on June 17th, 2015 09:56 pm (UTC)
Me too!
KSena: Naked curvy woman by magic_artkseenaa on June 16th, 2015 01:44 pm (UTC)
*laughs ass off* That was hilarious! X-D And makes a lot of sense!

I've thrown my scale out and just don't give a fuck anymore. Which now gives me more compliments and people think I am 15 years younger than I really am... And I'm just like... Wait, what? I probably weigh more than I have ever done in my life? (I won't check, but I am guessing...)
Jill aka Jo: TVD: Elenasireesanwar on June 17th, 2015 10:02 pm (UTC)
Well, I'm trying to lose weight but it is more because I want too and because my health has been iffy lately and I'm sure it couldn't hurt.

But I'm also not super concerned with eating specific things more or less. I'm eating healthier things and in small portions. I am cutting out bread as much as possible but that is because I tend to feel it when I eat it... if that makes sense.
KSena: Naked beautiful mom by magic_artkseenaa on June 23rd, 2015 01:04 pm (UTC)
That does make sense. :-) I'm all for eat what makes you feel good, both body and soul. And fuck what everyone else thinks. :-) So if that works for you, then GO YOU! :-D
Jill aka Josireesanwar on June 23rd, 2015 11:01 pm (UTC)